Phantom Bigfoot, The Vampettes from Venus and Simon Okill

“You know that Okill fella and his pet Bigfoot is here so often that we might as well make the two of them a honorary member of the Back of the Shed Gang.”  Jack suggested as his guzzled another beer.
“Really Jack? You want that smelly hairy…barrrp…. monster that has already destroyed this shed once and killed the trout in our pond after falling into it a part of our gang? This is a sacred club!” Frank protested as he picked up another can of Bud.
I let the debate make a few spins around the fire before interjecting my opinion. “I for one am in favour of Simon and Phantom Bigfoot becoming a part of our group. He has  contributed  greatly our group and to this enterprise and I think he deserves to be a part of us. Simon and Phantom are practically family.”
The b’ys took a moment to mull over what I said.
“Okay, I guess you’re right. I agree for Simon to join us, but only if that hairy beast agrees to stay outside.”  Frank consented.
“Perfect! I go and see if he wants to join. They are both outside.” I toss a book at them. “Here, in the meantime read this among yourselves. It get you better acquainted with our new members.”
Phantom Bigfoot &
The Vampettes from Venus
By Simon Okill

Welcome to Big Beaver, home of Duane Dexter aka Phantom Bigfoot. Teen superhero, Duane, must get Sheriff Lou and Agent Virgil hitched on orders of the alien Elders. Simple enough! But not for Phantom Bigfoot and Guardian of the forest, who manages to screw things up just when he least expects it.

And when he least expects it, Duane is rendered helpless as a new menace invades Big Beaver in the shape of a punk band – The Vampettes from Venus. It soon transpires these Vampettes are not your ordinary gals from outa town. Duane and his close friend, MB, know space vampires when they see them.

So Phantom Bigfoot with his trusty sidekick, MB, fight these insidious vampires head on in a free-for-all, no-holds-barred struggle. Will Duane save the day yet again or will these sexy Vampettes drink Big Beaver dry?

#Teen Humour #Urban Fantasy #Teen Romance #Action/Adventure


Paranormal author Simon Okill lives in a South Wales coastal town with his wife where he is currently writing about the crazy adventures of Phantom Bigfoot and his tribe of Bigfoot Babes. Phantom Bigfoot & The Vampettes from Venus is book #2 of his YA adventure series, Phantom Bigfoot Series, to be followed by Phantom Bigfoot & The Haunted House. Book #1 is already out there – Phantom Bigfoot Strikes Again. Simon has also written two other books, all available on Amazon – Luna Sanguis and Luna Aeturnus, dark Gothic romance set in France 1925 as well as several screenplays.

 

 

 
 
Moments
later Duane and MB tried the front door of the Bruger house. Of course it was
locked. They hammered at the door.
Duane turned around sensing trouble and wished he hadn’t. Hovering a few feet above MB like a giant red bat was that raven-haired Vampette with the freaky hairdo, mouth open wide, tongue licking large fangs.
“I am Vampirella. I care not for
neither of you fellas,”

the Vampette sang her words like that punk rocker Sid Vicious, screeching out the syllables with a high-pitched hiss.
What
did she mean she cared not for neither of them? His sixth sense told him she
didn’t want their blood because they weren’t virgins. Did that mean they were
safe from the Vampette’s fangs? Yeah it would seem so, Duane hoped.
“From somewhere within the deep,
you cannot resist the need to sleep,”
Vampirella screeched her song.
Duane
cautioned himself to be wary. Her singing had made him feel a little hazy. The
Vampette was obviously using some kind of insidious mind control on them with
her lyrics.
The
Vampette drifted towards Duane on her red cape wings and stopped less than a
few inches from him, her fangs just a millimeter from his bare neck. Duane’s
stomach gurgled with fear but strangely enough he didn’t feel like barfing. He
stood his ground.
“Chosen by The Elders you have
been. The Guardian of the forest I have seen,”
Vampirella sang harshly.
“Go
to hell!” Duane said, glancing at MB cowering behind him for protection.
“What
does she mean by The Guardian of the forest?” MB asked as if those might be his
last words.
Vampirella
didn’t reply. She cocked her head then sang, “Vermillia … Venusa … Vixenella … come join me.”
The
other three punk Vampettes floated down from the roof under their red cape
wings and landed silently before Duane and MB.
“Beau is pure, Beau is sweet, he
is our lure, he is our treat,”
Vampirella and the other three Vampettes sang like
demented sirens.
Duane
and MB backed up to the front door and hammered to be let in, both shouting,
“Let us in for fuck’s sake. Let us in!”

 

 

Questions for Phantom Bigfoot
1. Welcome to my boat Phantom. I hope you like decor. (I say as I wave
my hand over the trees placed sporadically throughout the boat , the grass under our feet and the waterfall in the far corner) I had it decorated especially for you. Are you thirsty?
– Love the boat Tina and the decor is purrfect, home from home. Um, not too sure of the waterfall though. Shouldn’t the water be on the outside? Speaking of
water, I am thirsty, but this time I brought a keg of my homebrew –
Phantom Bigfoot Ale. Want some? And if you like it, I’ll give you the
recipe. And I must say you are looking most fetching in that I Love
Bigfoot t-shirt and jeans. Have you done something with your hair since
last we met?

2. I know this is probably one of many interviews for a busy supernatural such as yourself, so let me just say that I’m honoured to have you out on the water with me today. I’m sorry that we couldn’t talk in the shed but as you can see, it’s in need of ah, some repair from your last impromptu visit. How have you’ve been?
-Um, sorry about the mess I left in the shed, Tina. Must remember to use the door
to leave next time, still, that Bigfoot-shaped hole in the wall looks
kinda cool. Got kinda frisky after all that beer and you know Phantom
Bigfoot when he gets going the going gets messy. Are the boys okay now?
I do recall knocking them around a little, but they must learn to
catch my empties with hands and not their heads. Fsfsfsfsfsfsfsf! And
yes indeed, I am being interviewed like crazy. Feels good to be the
flavour of the month. Been working my hairy butt off like a grizzly in
a beehive, Tina, getting my Luna novels into paperback and Phantom
Bigfoot’s third adventure which should be out late summer.

3. I must say you certainly do look, and smell a lot better since the last time I saw you. You have some beautiful fur. So soft and shiny.
May I ask who styles your coat?

-I’ve been meaning to try out a new hair colour and simply love yours! Why thank you Tina, you’ve made me blush, you little cutie you. I thought you might appreciate my new cologne – essence of tanglefoot. I just roll about in the weeds some and come out smelling like flowers. A vast improvement on odor de skunk, don’t you think? I even had my Bigfoot Babe trim my face fuzz for once and comb out all the bugs from my hair. Isn’t it so lustrous and soft to the touch? As for the color, well I got fed up being a dumbass blond and so I used the special golden tree moss to color me gold. I must say I look a right dandy Bigfoot today.

4. I’ve been following your adventures since becoming a fan and I’m intrigued with your relationship with the very attractive Sheriff Lou Harper. Do you think of her as just a sister as she seems to look upon you as a brother, or is there more going on?
– Phantom Bigfoot loves all his babes, including Tina, but Lou has a special place in my heart. She’s a friend who I can rely on not to arrest me when I get all afidgety for a prank. That said, she does often give me a boner when she gets into her sexy getup to tease the guys in Big Beaver, but it’s purely in my mind, not hers. Shame really, but there you go, you can’t
have your Jooobaaa and eat it all the time.

5. You are considered the great guardian of the forest, charged with protecting the elusive and precious Bigfoot tribe. This has to be a huge responsibility for someone so young. May I ask how you came about being charged with this task?
– It all started on my 18th birthday, Tina. I had to use the toilet real quick, but all thought of a pee left me when I saw my old man standing at least 7 feet tall looking like a blond werewolf. He explained to me that it was his time to join the tribe of Bigfoot as a WereBigfoot and it was my turn to be Guardian. Not the best present I could have thought of at the time, but once I got into character as a WereBigfoot – that’s a human altered by Aliens to shift into Bigfoot mode – life before seemed so dull. The aliens also enhanced my senses to superpower mode. For instance, Tina, I know you want to put your hands all over me. It’s no biggeee! I love playing in the forest, especially with the Bigfoot Babes. They sure are horny critters. It does get tough keeping the tribe a secret especially with so many tourists wanting to get their greedy mitts on that 1 million dollar prize. Who’d have thought there’d be a price on my head?

6. Oooh, intriguing. I promise that information will stay just between us. Phantom, since you came into town all the ladies(and some gents) haven’t been able to keep their eyes off you. Because, let’s face it you are one handsome and sexy beast. Because of this, you have your fair share of mates, but is there anyone in particular that your beastly heart cries out for?
– I do have that effect wherever I go, Tina, and for the life of me I can’t figure out why? There’s an Old Indian Legend that tells us man who accepts he is a sex object is wise indeed. Phantom Bigfoot has a place in his heart for all his babes and he would never place one above the others. There’s another Old Indian Legend that tells us man who treats all his babes the same will never have trouble at home.

7. I met your Bigfoot Tribe and they are, to say the least, a very interesting bunch. They certainly love to party. Still, it must be hard to keep them a secret so they will not come to any harm. Has there ever come a time where they have come to harm and you had to fight to protect them?
– Phantom Bigfoot loves to get down and Bigfoot Boogie with his tribe, but there comes a time when fate trips me up. Like that time Beau went missing. His friends said Bigfoot took him. Geez Louise! I had to use all my guile to outwit the Feds and Lou to keep the tribe a secret. And then baby Zola got shot by hunters. Against my cuddly nature, I got right mean and nasty with both hunters. Taught ‘em a lesson they’d never forget, well, until they do it again. But being tied butt naked to a tree sure was a sight to behold. Shame old Brutus
the bear didn’t happen along and give them a good seeing to.

8. Since the Bigfoot appear very much like human beings with the exception of all that fur, do they display any other human characteristics?
– You can take Bigfoot out of the jungle, but not the jungle from Bigfoot. All human traits tend to be displayed with pure abandon, but only the good ones. The aliens were kind enough to eradicate the angry gene and replace it with the loving gene. And if there’s one thing all Bigfoot love to do is get down and dirty with a handful of berries. They love to partay their brains out, play games, create naughty pranks and generally have fun. If they do get in a
tizz, it’s nothing more than a tumble in the grass or kick up the ass.

9. Interesting. That must make it so much harder in keeping them safe.
I heard that one of your tribe members got into a little bit of trouble when she developed a little crush on a human boy. Are you able to tell me what happened?

– Poor Zola was desperate for a mate. She fell in love with my school buddy, Beau. Being a teenager herself, logic was not her strong point. She abducted him and took him to her love nest deep in the forest. I must say, keeping that incident a secret was a mammoth task. Failure to keep Bigfoot a secret is punished with banishment from the forest and removal of my superpowers. Not an option.

10. I hate to bring this up since we are having such a delightful conversation, Phantom, but half the residents of PF have had an intruder enter their bathrooms, take a shower, leaving clumps of hair, and the god awful stench of lingering gas and bleach in the air. If that wasn’t bad enough each of them found a half eaten pastry on the toilet rim. You don’t have any clue who done it, do you?
– Phantom Bigfoot abides!

 

 
 
 
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2 comments

  1. Natasha Johnstone · April 18, 2014

    Thank you once again to the amazing gang for your effort and hard work to liven up this tour with your unique style. Thanks Tina. I couldn’t have asked for anything else. You ROCK!!

    • tinasdestiny · April 30, 2014

      Thank you as always for your kind words, Natasha. It’s my pleasure and honor to host these amazing authors!

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